Attack of the Muffins
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: /“I’m here Master!” Gilderoy shouted, running toward me with a towel tied around his neck that acted as a cape. My hero. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me into an upright possession, pressing a glass of water to my lips./ 3rd fic in Muffin series.


Disclaimer: The HP series belogns to JKR.

A/N: This is the last intallment of the Muffin trilogy.

**You probably won't understand this if you haven't read 'Damn Muffins' and 'Muffins For the Wind'** so go check out that first, please...I'm serious... If you read this without those, you'll be very very confused.

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"My onion! I order you to come here!" I yelled out at the top of my lungs from my standing position on my bed…Where was my celebrity Death Eater?

From the gained height of the bed, I could see all over the whole room of the Mental Institute. He wasn't anywhere? Not behind that lamp, or under the table, or behind that fat dude.

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest in a huff. "Onion!"

I felt a tap on my shoulder and gave a shriek, jumping a few feet in the air. Turning around, I was met with the face of my dreams- and by dreams, I mean nightmares- Goyle. "I'm here to bust you out boss!"

This time, not a shriek, but a scream erupted from my throat and I stumbled away from the tall Death Eater, who even without a bed to stand on, was taller than me…it's not my fault I'm short. I blame my stupid Muggle daddy.

I stumbled. And stumbled. And screamed. And stumbled. And…fell.

My body landed on the floor with a loud crack. Keep in mind that it was a crack- not a plop or a blub, but a loud, head shattering crack.

Luckily, my head didn't shatter, otherwise my brain would be oozing around on the floor…I'd feel very sad for the janitor's if that happened….No actually, I wouldn't. They'd be lucky to touch my sacred worship-worthy brain goop!

Goyle quickly rushed over to me. I could hear the loud pounding footsteps shaking the room…the building…Earth.

"Earthquake!" A doctor yelled in frenzy.

Thus, the screaming began as everyone ran outside the doors in a chaotic mess, a few of them stepping on me as the left. The earthquake went on, the cause of it all running and screaming with the rest of the dunderheads out there.

I was left on the floor, to tired and weak to get up. With a tear, I mustered up what little voice I had left and whimpered out, "Onion! I need you."

I could see the objects before me blur into unrecognizable shapes. And oh too quickly, everything seemed to go black.

Seemed to go black. That's the key word. Because a second later, I heard a loud boom, and my eyes snapped as open as they could, the color flooding back.

"I'm here my Master!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gilderoy shouted, running toward me with a towel tied around his neck. The towel flew behind him like a cape.

My hero.

His arms wrapped around me and pulled me into an upright possession, pressing a glass of water to my mouth.

I took a gulp and then looked up at Gilderoy and smiled happily, "Onion!"

"I thought I was your minion?" he voiced in reply, his tone being one of puzzlement.

I shrugged, "I dunno. I like the word onion better." A big grin stretched across my face.

Gilderoy nodded, accepting my explanation easily. "So what happened here?"

"My old sucky minion. He made an earthquake," I replied.

"Good. Now let's get you up and okay. You have footprint all over you like in those cartoons."

I sat up, only to have something shoved in my mouth. Gilderoy held something to my face and it tasted suspiciously like something familiar. Like the taste of evil.

My eyes widened as I realized what it was, but my scream was muffled by the monstrous food being shoved in my mouth. A blueberry muffin, just like the one that began this whole thing.

I tilted my head up, to look at Gilderoy. The man was looking down at me and smirking. His shoulders where shaking with silent laughter. "Kukuku," he laughed in his weird and spine chillingly evil way. "Did you really think I would be your minion Voldy?" he asked.

If my eyes went any wider, they would have popped out as I stared up at the man.

He just laughed again and shook his head sadly. "Oh, Voldy. You are such an idiot. I'm a member of the Order, don't you know?"

He shoved the muffin in my mouth, my taste buds being overwhelmed by the horrible taste of it. The smell of the blueberry trickled into my nose, stifling my sense of smell. All I could hear was my ex-minion's laughter.

"And now, you die."

And everything went black.

He betrayed me.

He wasn't my onion.

My friend.

No.

He was Potter's friend.

Only Potter's.

He'd never been my friend.

I was just stuck in some elaborate scheme of death and muffins.

Killer muffins.

The cause of it all.

Thus, I chose to become a ghost.

I haunted muffins.

Those evil blueberry muffins.

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A/N: Gildy was on the good side the whole time! Yay Harry won the war, Voldy is dead...But poor Voldy. He was betrayed. He must be hurt. Or very very mad...

See! Don't you all just love Gildy?! See, he's such an awesoemly flexible character!

Did you guys like? I sure had fun writing this! Review please! They'll totally make my day tommorow (Tommorow, I have a bunch of projects to do!)

Oh yeah. I added another clue(s) and more chances to my contest. Go to my profile for more info...2 more guesses per person! Yay!

XOXO

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PS: I forgot to say 'Spread the love!' So I say it now...Spread the love. Review! Please!


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